The Second Greatest Commandment

I always cringe a little bit when the two greatest commandments are read aloud in Mass. I mean, if they’re the top two, I really gotta pay attention. And follow them. And let’s be real, I’m not always doing that super well. 

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“But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Saducees, they came together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, to test Him. ‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.’” (Matthew 22:34-40)

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That first one, at face value, I frequently feel like I’m doing alright with. I love God. I’ve dedicated my life to Him. I go to Mass every Sunday. I’m checking all the boxes. I’m not running around robbing banks. 

But loving Him with all my heart? All my soul? All my mind? Hmm, that might be a different answer. Because there are definitely parts of my heart, my soul, my mind, that I try to fill with other things. Sometimes I focus a little too much on personal achievement, or gaining recognition and praise, or putting my security in worldly things.  

Let’s just say I definitely have other idols that I can place in front of God in my life. And I’m not saying I worship a golden calf. 

But mostly, I want to focus on that second commandment. That’s the one I frequently nervous laugh at.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

If you’re anything like me, you’d so much rather it say something like “love your neighbor well.” 

After all, I can love my neighbor. I can donate to charity. I can help those in need around me. I can volunteer. I can support my friends through a hard time. I can encourage and upbuild others through my words and actions. I can even, sometimes, forgive my enemies, graciously. 

But, “love your neighbor as yourself,” means that in order to love my neighbor I need to at least be decent at loving myself. And oh boy, that is where I truly can struggle. 

We are all our own worst critique. We all see our own flaws and imperfections from a much closer vantage than we see anybody else’s. We all know the ways in which we fall into the same habitual sins, over and over. We all can list the biggest ways in which we have failed and made mistakes throughout story. We all can hit repeat and loop on the internal lies we tell ourselves each and every day. 

Sometimes, I tell myself some horrible things about myself. Sometimes, I call myself some pretty terrible names. Very frequently I speak and act and think toward myself in ways I would never do toward another human being. 

Sometimes, I really don’t love myself well. At all. 

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I truly believe, in order to love our neighbors well, in the way that Christ is asking of us, we need to reclaim a healthy love of ourselves. And in order to reclaim a healthy love of ourselves, we need to refocus on who we are in God’s eyes. 

One of the most beautiful prayers I have been prompted to by a spiritual guide was, “Lord, help me see myself the way You see me.” 

Or even, turn the tables on Him and ask Him, “Lord, who do You say that I am?”

I dare you to ask Him that question. You won’t be disappointed by His answer. And if you need a place to start, Isaiah 43 and 1 Peter 2:9 might kick you off well. 

The Lord asks us to love Him. He asks us to love our neighbor. He asks us to love ourselves. But He doesn’t ask anything of us without providing us exactly what we need to do it: His own unconditional never-ending self-sacrificial love. 

These two greatest commandments come easily in response, when we live from an understanding of how truly precious we are to Him,